2 months

Today you are 2 months old Makayla! i cant believe its been 2 months since you were brought into this world by c section. The dr.s said that you came out screaming. i wish i could have heard you cry. its getting easier not to cry when i think of you. i miss you so much my sweet little angel. i wonder what you would be doing today if you were still here on earth with us. im sure you have your brothers and sisters eyes. i wish i could have seen your beautiful eyes. they were still closed when i got to meet you. i wear the necklace that your Feb. aunties gave to me. i wear it everyday! i have all these wonders going on in my head? would you be starting mommy's milk yet? would i be able to pick you up every time i saw you? i hope you heard me every time i talked with you while you were in the nicu. and i hope you hear me when i talk to you every night. im always thinking about you. when i laugh and smile please know its not because i dont care about you anymore. its because i know you are in a way better place. you are with your great uncle Kevin and i know he is taking care of you until i come to you. i know that you dont want me to be sad anymore but sometimes its just to hard not to cry. i cry because i miss you and i want to hold you again. if i could go back in time i would go to the hospital sooner. i just didnt know and i have so much guilt from that. but you are making mommy such a stronger person! for being here such a short time you have really impacted my life for the better. because of you, my belief in Jesus and the Lord is stronger than it ever was. I have now completely given myself to the Lord. I love you so much my sweet Makayla! Dont ever ever forget that!!